I was deeply saddened to hear of the passing of Mitch Hedberg. My favorite comedian, I was able to catch his show last month and he was as entertaining as ever. Here is a small sampling of his unique humor:
Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something
I would imagine if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy
When someone hands you a flier, it's like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.'
Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.
I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.
I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary.
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, "Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. It's in my file at home. Under 'D'."
Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?
Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something
I would imagine if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy
When someone hands you a flier, it's like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.'
Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.
I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.
I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary.
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, "Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. It's in my file at home. Under 'D'."
Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?
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